journey without start

Death, a word, a natural event that has been in my mind since childhood,

Not as a morbid thought, not always, but as a thought that needs no action.

Is death the end, the beginning or just a point in this long journey of existence?

True it is I know, for sure I feel it cannot be the end of the eternal life that flows,

It cannot be a beginning as I do not know what lies beyond the day we part.

True it is we cease to exist the way we did and no one knows what lies beyond.

No one assures how do we come back and even if we do to this state of being.

Perhaps, in that way death is the end, the end of me the way I existed for all,

The way I lived, loved, hated and was hated by all who will all pass one day.

Beyond that starts a journey that will have no name, face and form that is me.

my caged wounded love

The flower that I lost in the garden is in my heart.

Oh what magic charm gave this spring to my heart!

The dried leaves sing along the music of my heart.

The hardened soul is quenched by the nectar of my heart.

I do not fear pain anymore, separation is my home now.

But still the music in my heart plays on, I wonder why!

A dream for bliss has made a nest in my heart, and I know it’s there.

Let me free my caged love that has been waiting, wounded in my heart.

The flower that I lost in the garden is in my heart. 

my cursed veil

Oh my glorious veil! studded and refined

Bearing the morning stars, my joy and pride.

Flowing down like the arrogant Nile, creating

And flooding ancient lands, giving and taking.

Oh my glorious veil, I love you so dear and bright,

You have become so close that I don’t even remember

When was the last time I took you off, I don’t even know

Anymore how is it to breathe without you or to smile.

Oh my glorious veil! I love you so much that I wish you were

Not there in my life, I wish I could show the broken mind.

I wonder what you cover beneath, a receding hairline may be

Or perhaps a receding wish to fight and to smile for sure.

Oh my glorious veil! Take a leave from me, for god’s sake!

Let me be what I am, let me crumble down and cry.

my identity or lack of it

I want to be like the great lake, calm and still

Never changing its course, ever constant and deep.

Unlike the river that gushes down the mountain,

Breaking rocks in its way, then reaching the planes

Always carrying along the pang of nature with it.

Too much change and too much uncertainty,

I cannot handle it, hence I am the big lake, or so I think.

Is the lake really still though? Never changing and constant?

True that it never broke rocks, never flooded, caused

Pain and bliss, but the water still dries up in summer heat,

The same summer heat that dries the river and the seas,

And then once up in sky, the dried joy and pain melts together

They make love may be or they fight constantly to stay separate.

But one day that dryness melts, the lake and the river and the sea

Pour down on earth and make a new lake at the same spot,

And a new river and a new sea, but who knows whose water they

Hold now? So I ask is the lake really still and constant? Do I still

Want to be a lake knowing the perplexing uncertainty? 

let me leave tonight

If I part tonight, from all the glitters of this world,

What do I leave with? A dis-eased mind and soul,

A discontentment so deep that has made me numb,

A rage so outrageous that has lost its expression,

Or perhaps I leave with a nothingness, still and calm.

If am asked what did I leave this world with, a parting gift,

Does that question make me more fragile, reluctant to core?

I somehow match my math to the universe this time, thank god,

I have taken nothing with me, and I leave with nothing either.