my identity or lack of it

I want to be like the great lake, calm and still

Never changing its course, ever constant and deep.

Unlike the river that gushes down the mountain,

Breaking rocks in its way, then reaching the planes

Always carrying along the pang of nature with it.

Too much change and too much uncertainty,

I cannot handle it, hence I am the big lake, or so I think.

Is the lake really still though? Never changing and constant?

True that it never broke rocks, never flooded, caused

Pain and bliss, but the water still dries up in summer heat,

The same summer heat that dries the river and the seas,

And then once up in sky, the dried joy and pain melts together

They make love may be or they fight constantly to stay separate.

But one day that dryness melts, the lake and the river and the sea

Pour down on earth and make a new lake at the same spot,

And a new river and a new sea, but who knows whose water they

Hold now? So I ask is the lake really still and constant? Do I still

Want to be a lake knowing the perplexing uncertainty?